The Tisha B'Av Blues

I find that most people don't know what to do with themselves on Tisha B'Av. When asked what they do, most respond that they sleep. A large minority report that they watch movies although they usually try to limit it to “any genre other than comedy”. While I can't say that yours truly has never engaged in the aforementioned, I have tried in the past couple of years to take a little of the sadness in. It's not easy. Being uncomfortable is something that most of us try not to do. We take pills to avoid being sad. Or blast raucous tunes to drown out the depression. We're taught that sadness is bad. It is unproductive and detrimental. A “healthy” person is not sad. Don't worry. Be happy. If sadness is there, hide it. Don't let people know. They will view you as troubled. You'll never get a shidduch that way.

So then we are told, it's okay to be sad. Horrible things happened on this day and so it is fitting. And we don't know what to do. What do you mean I can be sad today? What does that mean? Sad is bad, right? What should I do now? I can't listen to music and I can't watch movies. Hmmm... reading novels and going on the internet is probably just as inappropriate... Can't even learn torah... So what is there to do? It's excruciating... All the activities that we would usually engage in on a normal non-work day, are forbidden or “not in the spirit of the day”. But you see, that's the point. It is supposed to be uncomfortable. It is supposed to make you unhappy. You are supposed to think about the reason you are doing (or not doing) all of this. It is because the batei mikdashim were destroyed. Our connection to kedusha, our connection to G-d, it's in ruins. All because we had baseless hatred for our fellow man. We should want the beis hamikdash to be rebuilt and should make a commitment to try to be better to others. That's the idea anyway...

Me? I try to while the day away while staying as far away from frivolousness as possible. I do sleep a little. But I try not to watch movies. Last year I did my taxes. (When you think about it, it's probably an appropriate thing to do on tisha b'av. If there is one reason I want moshiach to come, it is so I never have to do taxes again.) This year I went to the tisha b'av video that they were showing around the country (featuring Rabbi Paysach Krohn). I figured it would keep me in the spirit of the day and out of trouble and for the most part it did. I still don't know what to do with myself on Tisha B'Av but I am getting better. Every year I try to feel the sadness just a little. Maybe it's working. I'm getting more and more serious about it (and life in general). Hopefully, by next Tisha B'Av we will be in Yerushalayim and no one will be left scratching their heads trying to decide between Schindler's List and Munich.