Men are from Mars... but are Women from Venus?

I got into an argument with my friend's wife about staring at the opposite sex. She was standing with her husband and I when a couple of girls walked by. Naturally, we both turned to look. She proceeded to comment on guys and how easily their eyes get led astray. I asked her if she ever looks at passing men. To which she replied, “Of course I do. But it is different. I am not undressing them in my head.” So I called her a chauvinist or something like that. If this had been the first time a remark like this had been made, I would have remained quiet. But this came hot on the heels of a couple of other comments and reflections made by women who clearly abide by a double standard. So let's lay it down upon the table. Guys are generally the baser sex. They are more likely to act lewdly and think lustful thoughts. That much I agree to. Here is where the waters get a little muddy for me. The woman I was talking to said to me that when she looks at a guy, the only thing on her mind is that he is cute. So where does the automatic assumption come in that when I look at a girl I am thinking anything other than how cute she is? I can't speak for all men but I will tell you my thoughts straight out. Most of the time when I see a pretty girl I am thinking about whether I am attracted to her, not what she looks like naked or how I can get her into bed. This could have something to do with my personality or possibly my (mostly) religious upbringing. I can't tell you WHY it is this way, all I can tell you is that it IS this way. Obviously, I can only speak for myself. I know that there are many guys whose first thought will be about relieving the young woman of the inconvenience we call clothes. But that is not me and I take offense to the apparent abundance of women out there who are quite ready to believe that all guys are pigs. Give us some credit! Now this is not to say that I never think about the girl later on. But we all have our fantasies. Can any woman honestly tell me that she has never fantasized about any guy she ever saw? There are a broad spectrum of people out there. I think that most frum women would concede that the gadol hador is probably not mentally undressing every woman who comes to ask him a shailoh. Where do you draw the line? There are many guys who have worked on themselves immensely in order become better people. As a spectator, how can you know what any one male individual is thinking? Before feminism it was all about how women belonged in the kitchen. They were inferior and weren't able to do “a man's work”. And now? Are we any better? We have relieved ourselves of the wrongful thinking that our fathers had. Instead, we deal with another phenomenon, women denigrating men, calling them something akin to animal and writing them off as a lower, baser creature. So what do I want? I want the women who are reading this piece to keep one thing in mind. Both you and I are human. We both look and we both fantasize. We also both have free will. I would like you to consider the possibility that maybe, just maybe, not all guys are sickos. And next time you see a guy look at a girl, give him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he is just thinking about her gorgeous smile or nice figure. Maybe he is not thinking about how he would like to see her slip into something a little more comfortable. Then again, maybe he is. But that is not for you to judge. Show him a little respect and treat him as more than just a beast. I would like to hear your opinion about the previous piece. Ladies... if you deem something I wrote to be unreasonable, please let me know. Guys... what is your take on this? Honestly speaking, is the first thing that comes into your head something that you would be ashamed of if your mother knew? Or is it much more benign?