It's a goal!

I recently went to a couple of open houses for graduate school. I met all sorts of interesting and intelligent people and really enjoyed the experience. Just one thing bothered me. These people all had a better idea of what was happening than me. I had no clue what to expect. I didn't know what was needed to get into graduate school, the difference between the focus of one school versus another or the benefits versus the costs of taking a teaching or research assistantship. Any number of pertinent and important details were unknown to me while they seemed to be common knowledge among my colleagues. While musing about this, I came down with what to my mind explains it all. Frum Jews don't have goals. Now before you argue with me, (or close this 'blog) hear me out. It is plain and simple that careers are not considered paramount in Frum circles. (Please understand that when I say Frum, I am referring to orthodox and not modern orthodox; to those who believe in Torah, not Torah U'Mada; to those whose children attend Yeshivas. This is not to say that I do not consider Modern Orthodox Jews to be Frum, just that I am referring to the segment of Jews who do not consider careers to be of the utmost importance as this is the group that I have had the most experience with.) Learning is the dominant pursuit and everything else is secondary. Not only do many Yeshivas take a condescending attitude towards college but many do not take high school education seriously either. The SAT was not offered in my high school and we were not encouraged to take it. But it goes beyond that. It isn't just the lack of “career focus” found in our schools. We aren't taught to have goals at all. I went through my entire high school career and then proceeded with a couple years of post high school yeshiva and never learned how to have a goal. Yes, but what about finishing mesechtas (tractates of Talmud)? Isn't that a goal? As far as it exists inside the yeshiva system it is not. At the beginning of each school year a new mesechta is begun. While many bochurim may finish the mesechta, this is never laid out as the goal. Many do not complete the mesechta and regardless, when the new year rolls around, a new mesechta is begun. Those who haven't finished the mesechta move on to the next one. Whether they finished the first one or not does not matter. Many Yeshivas try to encourage their students to finish it on their own. But right there is the key, it is usually done on their own. There is a difference between encouraging something and making it the goal, the pinnacle to reach. There is also a huge emphasis on learning lishma (for it's own sake). The learning in Yeshiva is not done as it is in university. Unless one is in a smicha (preparation for the rabbinate) program one does not learn in order that he should be able to become a Rabbi or a teacher. We are taught to learn for it's own sake, for no purpose other than a love of learning and a love of G-d. Don't get me wrong, this is very important. The only point I am trying to make is that it does nothing to contribute to creating life goals. There is one Torah subject in which making goals is quite prominent. That subject is Mussar. The goal of Mussar is to work on oneself to become a better person, to become a better Jew and ultimately serve G-d better. Mussar involves rigorously working on our character traits until we learn to perfect them one by one. In regards to Mussar, there must be a goal otherwise one cannot work on themselves. Sadly, many yeshivas neglect Mussar. Some Yeshivas I have been in have short sedarim where students learn with each other without the benefit of a Rebbe to help them. Others don't have Mussar classes at all. Which leaves us back where we started. Yeshiva guys just aren't taught how to have goals. So when I tell you that I never learned how to have a goal even through years of Yeshiva, I am not joking. Planning for the future is virtually nonexistent. There is a tendency to believe that Hashem will help us find parnasa. It's called Bitachon and we are meant to have it. But we are also meant to do hishtadlus. This makes for a tricky subject and whether or not each particular person requires hishtadlus and how much is enough needs determining. But the bottom line is that many students don't think about their careers. In addition, there is no one to talk to about what is required to get a career and no exploring is done as to what type of career each student is best suited to. Whether it is the lack of emphasis placed on it in high school or the neglected skill set or the focus of having bitachon, the student's head is not on his career. For some people this is a good thing. They should be learning and becoming the future gedolim of klal yisroel. But for someone like me who could have used a little guidance on how to better succeed in my endeavors, the system fell short. People who aren't Frum or Jewish keep more of an eye on their careers. For some of them, the job they will get is all they have and therefore a good portion of their time and energy is put into making sure they get good grades and get into the best schools. Me? I'll manage. But it would have been nice to have some guidance and idea of where I was going. I guess the point of all this is twofold. First of all, there should be resources for Frum Jews to get information on institutes of higher learning and careers. Students who are not cut out to learn full time should be helped to become the best working/learning Jews possible not impeded. Secondly, I think that there should be a mandatory class in every yeshiva that involves setting goals. Killing two birds with one stone, I'd say that it should be done in the form of a Mussar class. This should involve each student sitting alone with a rebbe he trusts and formulating a plan on how he is going to improve some aspect of his life. In this way he will learn to set goals for himself. A mass Mussar shmooze will not accomplish this. It must be done on an individual basis. Each student needs to develop his own goal. I fear this has been a rather long rant and those of you who didn't make it your goal to finish this post have probably fallen asleep by now. ;-) Suffice it to say that we all know the Yeshiva system is not perfect. This is but one suggestion offered up by this humble 'blogger on how to remedy this problem.